He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Randomize
