Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
