If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
