Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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