false alarm. still invincible.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
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