I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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