Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
