i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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