Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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