i don't like sucking hair
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize