So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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