That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
