i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
