Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize
