You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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