sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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