Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
