she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
