Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
