Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize