I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
