Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
whose ass print is on the piano?
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Randomize
