He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
