If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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