So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Randomize
