A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
