are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
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