dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
