It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
