Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
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