i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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