Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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