How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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