Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I love you. Go after that dick
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