Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
