Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
