smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
