That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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