i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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