no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
