K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize