well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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