WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
