covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
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