I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
