i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
