Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
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