what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
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