im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...