he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.