I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job