also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.