I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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