How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.