ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
20 People Who Caught Their Significant Others Cheating and Hand Over Some Major Karma
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
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After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.