It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Randomize
