Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
cat food counts as protein by the way
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.