If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
