I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
