and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
