I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
