I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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