I wish I could punch you in the face.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
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