Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize