He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
We had to coat check the pizza.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
But break dance skills will only take you so far
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
