Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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