I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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