i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
