I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Life is so much better after having sex.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
