We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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