he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
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