Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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