all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
21 Bartenders That Are Definitely Winning At Their Jobs
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I supernannyed him into submission