The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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