So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
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when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
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I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
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