yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.