Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
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The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
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I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon