I didn't shave. On purpose
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
17 Women That Lost Condoms Up Their Lady Parts
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
23 People Confess The Most F*cked Up Thing Guests Have Done In Their House
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson