i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
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i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
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Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten